"I'm unable to . . ."
Can you identify?
Honestly, I know I don't have all the answers about the condition of helplessness, but I would like to share what I understand so far.
There are two approaches that work together to heal helplessness.
The first approach is the realization that you cannot control most of what happens in life. The first time I accepted this idea into my heart, I thought I was going out of my mind from the pain and free-fall. But after passing the "barrier", I found out it was a much more peaceful place to be. I call it zen (with apologies for my personal application of the term because here is what zen actually is).
But in this blog post, I would like to concentrate on the second approach.
"I am able."
Three simple little words. I realized that my self-talk had never included that proposition. I hadn't decided or believed this about myself. So I started affirming that aloud to myself.
"I am able."
Nobody can do everything.
But I can do something. I am able to reflect upon my situation. I am able to make a selection of possibilities. It's okay if other people don't approve or would do something differently--I'm the one doing the walking. I am able to go forward, a step at a time. I am able to evaluate my choice after working it for a while to see if I like what is happening or if I would like to make some adjustments.
Going along with this, I no longer take "ability" for granted. Ability is very precious to me. And it's something I always want more of! Ha ha. I have lived most days of my life (thus far) in a state of depression and a host of related issues, as well as witnessed my (late) husband's medical conditions (cancer and more). So I know what it means to have ability stolen from you. That's real, too.
While it was essential to give myself new self-talk and a new decision as I described above, I also know it's not the entire healing. Many people in this world consider happiness to be the apex of experience, but for me, ability is the holy grail. I desire to be a creator. I am a creator, but I desire to be effective! ha ha. So I am always on the search to learn new or better ways of coming to that state of life.
Because of the illnesses my husband and I passed through, I have come to understand that ability is based on energy. So I know that in order to experience ability, I have to nourish my body energy. There are many things I learned to do little by little over time that allow my body (cells) to be charged with energy (tip of where to start: B12). (And I'm still learning!) If there is energy, then it can be used for action. If there is no energy in my body, then action is not going to an option.
So as you are reflecting on your own healing of ability, consider the following:
1 Be good to yourself. Feed and nourish your self and your energy. Rest.
2 Be proactive with your self-talk: "I am able."
3 Realize that life can be messy and you can't control everything. It's okay.
4 You can do something. You can make a decision. You can take a step.