When it's tough, the natural response may be to withdraw our heart and mentally discard choices and possibilities in favor of conclusions and decisions that stop us from going forward. It's a natural response because the risk feels too high and our self has a need for safety and comfort.
I invite you to keep one choice and possibility always with you no matter how overwhelming the situation. It is to be willing.
When you are experiencing fear, depression, self-doubt or whatever emotional and circumstantial situation that is unique to you, make a choice to remain willing.
Are you afraid to make a phone call and ask for a job? Okay. That's human. Are you also willing to make that phone call in spite of the fear? Say yes!
Are you in the middle of a tough spot in your relationship and feelings are hurt and you don't know exactly how to handle the difficulties? We've all been there. Are you willing to reach out and try again? Are you willing to listen to your partner and hear their needs? Are you willing to learn what you need to learn to solve the problem? Say yes.
As you can see, willingness is a particular brand of courage. It is so easy to be unwilling. It means we don't believe that our self is worth it. We believe that the other people in the situation aren't worth our energy. The possible positive outcome isn't worth our action. That's a pretty harsh judgment! I hope instead that you can believe and see that most people and most possibilities are worth our willingness (especially yourself!).
(Being willing does not mean that you cannot make decisions about what truly does and does not belong in your life. Saying 'no' is also a healthy adult choice.)
But in the middle of the stew of any difficult situation, at least ask yourself, "Am I willing?" While the answer may be an honest 'no', you may find that a 'yes' answer takes you down a rewarding if challenging path that opened to you only when you said 'yes'.