I'm going to teach you a simple three-part process for changing and moving any area of your life. In fact, for some of you, this little formula is so powerful it may be all you ever need.
Start by writing down the destination or accomplishment you want. On a piece of paper, on the far right, make a title What I Want. Under it, describe what you see. Do you see better physical health? Exactly how does that look like when you live it? Do you want a sexier, more affectionate marriage? Write down as specifically as you can where it is you are going.
Then, on the far left of the same paper, write a column titled Where I Am Now. Take stock of what your present life is like in relation to where you want to go. State everything positively as things you already have or experience that relate to your destination. Think of your "what I want" as a painting that is actually partially finished with a few colors. You will see you aren't as far away from your dream as you think and that you have a lot going for you, a lot of gifts and resources you can use. You can write down any soul qualities you have like perhaps "determination". In the example of the sexy marriage, you could write down things like: "married for 15 years and both still committed", "hubby has a really fun side when it comes out", "library has books on marital intimacy" and so forth.
The final step in this process is to title the center column The Next Step. If you're like me, I used to get overwhelmed with the distance between where I was at (or thought I was) versus the place where I wanted to go. I felt so overwhelmed that there was so much to do, so much I didn't know how to do or have the strength for, that I never started at all. I learned to forget about the distance since it didn't exist anyway. There was no way for me to live in 'tomorrow' or in a hundred 'tomorrow's. I only had to do one thing. I only had to do the next step. There wasn't any distance at all, because the next step was right in front of me and I knew what to do. In fact, it was tiny and easy. In the example of the marriage, perhaps your next step is: "Check out the books at the library and read them together for 30 minutes every evening." After you've had a chance to do the next step, you can re-evaluate and plan another next step.
Not every 'next step' is easy of course. Sometimes we identify that the next step may be outside of our comfort zone. For example, what if your 'what I want' is to 'have a relationship with my Dad'? And you can see that the next step is to pick up the phone and call him. That could be really hard! But getting clear on what the next step is, even if you aren't sure you can do it, is important. Because if you know what it is, then you can also start learning to find the courage to do what is hard because it's still only one thing to do. It's manageable.
After doing this process on paper with several of your goals or needs, you'll find yourself thinking like this on your feet. "What is my next step?" you'll hear your mind say whenever there is something to be accomplished. Using the power of the next step, you will be able to reach any place you want to go.