<![CDATA[How to Move the Universe - The Blog]]>Fri, 27 Oct 2017 07:45:33 -0700Weebly<![CDATA[Nectar For the Soul]]>Fri, 27 Oct 2017 12:59:30 GMThttp://howtomovetheuniverse.com/the-blog/nectar-for-the-soulIt's been a long, long road.

You're exhausted.  You've practically been crawling the last several miles--one tough yet shaking hand over the other.  You're surviving--but barely.  You can't go much farther; but is there ever going to be an end?

You're starving.  You are parched.  You can't see anything but the dust of the ground in your face.

How did this happen?  How did you get this way?  This isn't how it was supposed to be!  You've always been doing your best--you thought!  Where was the wrong turn?  Are you a total screw up?  It's so big!  How can you even get out of this?  Maybe you are a lost cause and this is how it's always going to be.  Pain and shaking and eating dust.

There's no one to help.  Is there?

You need so much.  You need water.  You need food.  You need clean clothes.  You need bandages.  You need help standing.  You need help seeing the horizon.  You need help knowing what road you are on and if it's going where you need it to go.  You need all of this yesterday!

But there is something you need even more than all of these.

"John."  (Hear the sound of your own name.)

"John.  John.  You can stop now.  You can rest."

What?!  No, no, I have to keep going!  I'm not there yet!  I'm desperate for heaven even though all there is, is hell!

"John.  I'm here.  I see you.  It's enough.  You've done enough.  You are giving your all."

You stop in spite of your anxiety, wondering if you dare to believe.  You quiver, ready to drop, wondering if you really can, wondering what you will lose if you do.

You hear the voice again.  "Oh, my goodness, John.  How did you do it?  That's a crazy ass mountain you just climbed!  You are AMAZING!"

I'm what?  Ragged breaths.  Your mind clears a little as you remember your path and everything you pushed over, under, around, and through.

"Oh, yea . . ." you whisper.  "I can stop?"

A small, loving laugh.  "Yes, John.  You can rest.  I'm here."  You feel strong enough to timidly look up from the ground and you see a loving, smiling face looking at you directly in the eyes.

Don't they see? you wonder.  Don't they see that I'm a mess?  Torn and broken?

"What you look like," they answer your thoughts, "is like a person who just climbed a mountain."

"So I'm okay?  This way?"

They smile and nod.  "Yes.  You look glorious.  This isn't a catalog photo shoot.  This is real life.  And you look like you've thrashed it."

"So I'm finished?"

"Well, there's more mountain.  There's an amazing view up there that you'll want to see.  But I'm here now.  You have time to rest.  I have food and water and new clothes for you.  I have a map for the trail that I'm going to give you.  And--we'll go together.  It's a little challenging, but you'll have everything you need to make the trip in good time.  I have complete confidence that you'll be able to do it.  Plus it'll be fun if we're together."

You nod and start to cry a little in deep relief.  That's right, you remember.  I was on my way to the view.  I just forgot.

= = = = = = = = = =

This parable shows the deepest healing need that all human beings have.  This need is greater than the need for food or water, even.  This need is greater than any detailed healing techniques.

That need is--acknowledgment.

To be seen and heard--witnessed--is unutterably powerful and balm-giving.

Each person needs to know that their struggle--even if it hasn't been graceful--has meaning and is understood by at least one other human being.

As beings--as beings of energy--we take up time and space.  We need to feel the peace that the time and space we are taking up with our personal energy is welcomed and wanted in the universe, in the community, by at least one other; no matter what other condition, better or worse, we might meanwhile be in for periods of time.

We need to know--we need to be told and shown--that rather than having to be beautiful in order to have the right to be--instead we are beautiful simply because we are.  That everything about us--including our ugly (as believed) struggles--is the grace of a universe that is holding us in its embrace.

We can acknowledge ourselves.  I invite you to do so.  Acknowledge and thank yourself for what you've had to go through.  Lean into that nectar of relief.

But it's also a very powerful cure when we are willing to acknowledge each other.  It is my deepest privilege to offer my acknowledgment and witness to you.

You are brave.

You can rest now.

No one could have done more than you have done and are doing with what you have been dealt.

I absolutely know this.  There are no exceptions to anyone reading this.

I want to be in a universe that has you in it.



= = = = = = = = = =
If you would like to be immersed in more acknowledgment--and get some nourishment and a map for the continued climb!--I invite you to visit me here.
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<![CDATA[You Can Only Heal From the Position of NOW]]>Fri, 20 Oct 2017 15:57:14 GMThttp://howtomovetheuniverse.com/the-blog/you-can-only-heal-from-the-position-of-nowOne of the main things I teach in my healing program, and help men and women to practice until it is natural and peaceful for them, is to live life from the position of NOW.  Now in space, now in time.  Often this is also called Presence.  I like to call it: Be Here.

Honestly, this is not an optional position for the human being.  It is a necessary one.

If your hope is to heal or to make lasting changes in your life, the position from which this is possible is here and now.

If you are trapped in the past or the future, you will never be able to "move" from those positions.  You'll be constantly stuck.

The secret is--is that you are always here.  There is actually no way to leave.

The problem is not that you've left (because it's not possible).  It's that you keep trying.  You make the attempt over and over again to live in/from the past and/or to live in/from the future.  It takes massive energy to maintain the attempts.  It is fertile soil for depression, anxiety, exhaustion, and pain.

But the now keeps calling.

Attempting to wrestle the future and the past is like trying to move a universe that won't budge.  You want to move it with the past.  You want to move it with the future.  It is futile, my dear, and you will be soaked in that sense of futility.

The universe is only now.  And if you can surrender to that now peacefully, you'll find that everything is already moving.  It is coming.  It is resting for a moment and giving its gift.  It is going.  And it is all worth embracing.  And it is embracing you.

There is no past and there is no future.  There is only what we carry.  The past and the future cannot be 'true', either.  They can only be what we pick up and carry.  (Have you ever had an experience when your memory of something is not the same as another person in the same past situation?  Or a situation that we remember what we thought about it, but later understood the other person's position more clearly--i.e. it was not as we once thought?  In other words, our memories are not 'true', but they are 'ours'.)

So in the present, we are carrying (choosing!) our memories (past) and our vision (future).  These are energies.  A human being can only carry so much.  It takes energy to maintain carrying.  We can choose to carry as we like (and memories and vision can be blessings), but I submit to you that it may be more healthy to carry light.  Do you want to be 'fat and heavy' with old (decrepit), demanding, draining, illusory, pain-filled energy--the weight of pasts that aren't really here, and the weight of futures that also are not?  Can you heal from a position of rot and illusion?  No, you cannot.  You have to clear the water first.

You have to be here now.

It is from the now that things become clear enough to see what really is and what the next tiny step could possibly be.

I'm not saying it's easy to drop it all on a dime.  Although go ahead if you are ready!  You don't need anyone else's permission!

As I mentioned, I am prepared to help you ease into practicing presence like a muscle or a skill.  I invite you to begin your healing here.
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<![CDATA[We Are Even Tougher]]>Fri, 29 Sep 2017 14:10:02 GMThttp://howtomovetheuniverse.com/the-blog/we-are-even-tougherI don't know.

Should I write about the sadness and fear I feel?

Should I write about the peace and delight I feel?

I met a cat this week.  I went to sit and visit with my neighbor down the street.  The cat, a calico, was on the doorstep.  She was demonstrably sweet and friendly.  When I left, my neighbor said that it wasn't her cat, do you want it?  Not really.

Nevertheless, Miss Cat followed me to my car and jumped right in.  Well, okay, then.  She loved on me and told me her name was Margaret.  She realized we were moving as I drove back home on our country road.  She didn't totally freak out--much too cool for that--but she did walk around the interior and checked windows and came back for my voice and my stroking.  It was a only a 2 minute drive, but when we arrived at my house, she immediately and gratefully jumped out, definitely done with all that!

Margaret tried to squeeze in the door to come in the house, which I had to say no.  Later, I opened the other door and she was there and tried to squeeze in, even as I slowly tried to close it and guide her away without hurting her.  There was a strange and funny moment when she had one paw and her thin face pushed through the final thin opening.  Hadn't given up hope.  Persisting to the end.

I did bring some dry food out to the step and pour it out for her, which of course she devoured (she was thin).

Later in the day I didn't see her.   Bye, Margaret . . .

Snapshots of my week: 

I turned my bed around so that it faces the other way (after 8 years of the original position).  It felt a little blasphemous, yet like I was released.  I needed to put a major change in my life, and that counted.

Someone questioned my faith this week.  Always fun.  While I did communicate clearly to her that I wouldn't stand as her target (instead of just sulking and resenting her later), I also had to find that spot of me that is willing to leave a blessing with someone.  Most of the time it's easy for me to do that; a few times I have to deliberately choose who I am going to be.  I changed my tone.  I did not return sarcasm and judgment.  I just replied calmly and told her what I appreciated about her.  Don't know if it landed for her, but I was grateful later to myself that I had answered peacefully.  I also had to see if there was any truth or good about what she said that might help me, even if I didn't like her delivery.  I don't know if I found anything, but thanks for at least looking, Jenn.

King Buddha (my new baby grandson) is smiling now.  He's almost 2 months old.  He's just amazing.  Just that.  My daughter-in-law is so good and texting me photos of him growing up several times a week; she is so thoughtful that way.  Thank you, daughter-in-law!

My daughter cooked supper on Wednesday, small miracles, and her stuff always tastes better than mine.

The propane people forgot to come this month, but came this week after I called.  That's the bad news.  The good news is that I basically think we've been having miracle hot water for the past three weeks.  It's happened before (also with things like car gas), but never quite that long!  Sweet!  

I got out my Christmas treat recipes to look through them for what I might do on the plates this year.  Waaaay too early, I know.  But I just was in the mood one crispy cool September evening and nothing else was calling for me.  Cranberry fudge and eggnog poundcake anyone?

My son called me with heavy news and I had the opportunity to tell him I will always love him.  I had a bad dream about another son.  One of my sons needs a haircut really bad, but it's kind of in the standing up on his head stage, this thick glorious hair my sons have why in the heck do we cut it, bushy and messy and beautiful. But it's always on the mind: haircut, haircut, haircut.  Ha ha. My other son--after we read scriptures at night--one of the sons does what is required and then goes back to what he was doing before; but my other one prolongs it, asks questions, talks about his thoughts.   I bask in his growing heart and mind.  It gets to be me listening to his soul.

But the one who is all business at night readings?  Last Friday the boys went rock climbing, and later I found a tiny perfect sea shell (from the ocean that used to be here millions of years ago) on my desk and a post it note that said "Here is a spirit shell."  I smiled all through my bones.  He has heard me talk about "spirit rocks" and such (when I go on my hikes) and about several spirit objects I keep in the home; and I looooove that he had eyes to see and knew exactly which sea shell to pick up and that it told him what it was.  And he heard.  And knew he could share with me.  He remembered what I would love.

Mmmmm.  Dear God, hold my sons in Your Hand.   My prayer cards in front of the Ganesh in my room have been blank for a while, but this week I felt to write about my sons on a card.  I like that it is no longer blank.  I like that the prayer will leave the card and swirl through the air of the room and from there to the universe and make ripples of love and change.

I smiled as I woke up today.  This is not the first time it has happened, been happening occasionally over the past few weeks (but never before in my entire lifetime!).  I think I was excited to go to the sunrise and then write to you (even though I didn't know what!).  I think I felt like I wasn't in a hurry, that I could move like liquid and be doing exactly what I wanted to be doing.  I went outside, the sun rays splashed gold in the clouds in the gentle morning light, and the rooster crowed.  Exactly what I want to be doing.

I've been immersed in my Pinterest, trying to make it be a nice companion to this website.   Endless avocado recipes, one sort of delight, ha ha.  But it reminds me that I can't buy an avocado right now.  Sigh.  Next week, when the money comes.  Right now, I make rice and beans.  Thank you God for rice and beans.  And Pinterest.

I'm preparing for a new opportunity.  It's one of those that has feelings about it I haven't had to have for a while--actual preparation outside of my comfort zone, and the sense that a little (or a lot) of effort will bring a reward.  But it involves others evaluating my performance, again haven't had to deal with that for a while.  I'm scared?  I'm excited?  Ha ha.

My life is starting to be full of visits and phone calls with other women.  I love it.  A new friend invited me to her house for lunch on Monday.  Wednesday, I went next door to shoot the breeze with the sweetheart there.  They both have tough rows to hoe.  The first is brand new in town and trying to make friends, single after a traumatic divorce.  The second is a long time caretaker to her husband.  It's hard to imagine the sort of human-soul steel that is being forged in both instances. 

But in the hours that I was there with them, we just laughed.  Laughed at how tough life thinks it is, but how we found out we are even tougher.  At the first woman's house, we sat in her chairs and saw the view from her tiny RV on a hill.  She's living in an RV, but has a view an emperor would pay for.  So is life bad? Or good?  Ha ha, yea.  With the second woman, we also sat outside in chairs on the green lawn while the wind tussled our hair.  The gorgeous white peacocks from the farm next door wandered over and joined the chickens, and they all walked around us.  Ha ha ha.

There's more, but you get the idea.   Sad, scared, peaceful, delighted . . .  can't wait til next week.
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<![CDATA[Jump In the Mud]]>Fri, 22 Sep 2017 14:37:05 GMThttp://howtomovetheuniverse.com/the-blog/jump-in-the-mudI was really angry last Saturday.

Life angry.

It wasn't pretty.

Unfortunately, one of the sweetest friends I have happened to text me right in the middle of the worst part of that storm, like at the worst possible moment.  He asked me how I was.  A routine question.

Lie? Tell the truth?  Ha ha.

"At this exact moment, I am horrible," I texted back.

He'd never heard me say anything like that.  Ha ha ha.  He immediately went into sweet friend overdrive, asking me about my health, attempting to comfort me, cheer me up, reason with me.

I'm really, really, really glad I have a friend like that.

However, as I pondered over it later, I wondered as I sometimes do, what the need is for us to hurry out of our fear, anger, sad (etc) states.

In my case, my anger was helpful.  It brought some things of my life into sharper focus--what is working, what is not.  It had a message I was grateful for.  It had a strength I needed.  The anger lasted all day until later in the evening when I cried it all out in the face of a mini-epiphany.

It was actually an important--dare I say good--experience.

You know, we are born into this world, and then we spend the entire time trying to transcend earth; or just sometimes flat out leave it.  We want the time to be short.  We don't want what is here.  We want whatever we think comes after.  We don't want to jump in the mud and get dirty.

That's like buying a deluxe slip and slide, and then getting a raincoat, umbrella, and rubber boots to go tiptoe on it.  What?!  Go put your polka dot bikini on (or your Batman speedos!) and hit that thing hard!!

I guess what I'm suggesting is to adjust our expectations; as well as our frame for what some stuff means.  Kind of like how a sink full of dirty dishes means that you're eating.  A car that breaks down means that you--have a car!

And that when anger or some other not-the-best experience comes--it is a sign that there is a gift, a privilege in it.  For me, it meant I saw a lovely side of my friend.  It meant I was prepared for an epiphany.

It meant I'm alive.
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<![CDATA[The Giggle In Things]]>Fri, 15 Sep 2017 14:45:13 GMThttp://howtomovetheuniverse.com/the-blog/the-giggle-in-thingsThis year I have been going to bed at about 8:30 p.m. most nights.

I've lost my taste for games, music, television, food, and even books.  I'll be honest, that's what I used to spend my evening time on.

But these days I get to the end of my day, I feel the tiredness, and I'm just done.  I feel my blessings, I feel my sadness.  I feel I have done all I could, but not sure if its enough.  I tell the boys good night (they go to bed at 9:30 or 10:00).  And I walk back to my room.

My room is my sanctuary.

Earlier this year, I did a major clearing of my room.  I got rid of boxes, furniture, clothes, weird things in the back of the closet. I did all this in a space of about two weeks, despite the fact of my inability to clear it in the 20 plus years before (meaning ANY room of ANY of my houses). My room has space now, and everything that is in it has purpose.  I can breathe.

Since then I have been deliberately working with the energy in that room so that it has sanctuary energy.  I want there to be a marked difference of feeling of when I walk in.

One thing I did for myself was put a lamp by my bed.  Seems like a small thing, but I like to have the lamp on and read and think and pray for a while, and then not have to get up again to flip off the light switch.  Totally ruins the mood, ha ha.

So last night I was resting in bed with the lamp on.  I read from my daily Rilke reader (another gift to myself last January as I chose what I wanted to be reading this year; I like having a "daily reader").  (Rilke is an exquisite German poet and philosopher.)

Then as I let my thoughts just wander, I again wondered why my room was still clear.  I wondered why I cleared it so quickly and it has remained cleared.  And why I couldn't do it before, and why there are some other things I still can't seem to do.  I am sooooo thankful for that room--the kind of thankful that has a giggle in it!

And then I smoothed my hand over my bedspread, and played with the matching pillows, enjoying their embroidered texture (I have about ten pillows on my bed; and a stuffed unicorn).  My bedspread is so pretty!  I can't believe it is here in my life!!

One of my great sorrows in my life is how unpretty things are in my appearance and my environment and how I seem to have limited ability to effect beauty.  So when something like my soft sea-aqua bedspread comes into my life, I'm sooo happy.  Again with the giggle.  It's here!  Thank you!  Wow!  I get to be here under this bedspread!  With the lamp on!  Reading Rilke!  Squeezing my unicorn!

People often say things can't make you happy, and I have never agreed with that.  Ha ha.  Things are the only thing that make me happy.

It's true that I have made decisions to live in peace with myself and others, and that cuts down on the drama so that life isn't complete chaos for me anymore (or as much!).  It's true that I've chosen to love and support myself, which is a great relief.  People say that their children make them happy, but while I am in AWE of my children, I am also constantly in worry for them or for how much I haven't done for them, so I wouldn't call that happiness. 

I will say, too, I'm not necessarily on a search for happiness.  My choice in life is to live in the present, so the NOW has a range of possibilities, and happiness is only one of them.  The others (anger, sadness, excitement, etc) are okay with me too.

I once heard a woman who was sharing her philosophy about the vanity of women and saying something like that earrings won't make a person happy.  And all I could think was, "They always have for me!!!"  There is nothing in my life like the happiness of a new pair of earrings!  Ha ha ha.

Now, if it was all taken away from me, which in my mind is likely and not unexpected--if tomorrow, there were no bedside lamp, bedspread, earrings, book of Rilke--I would accept it.  I wouldn't necessarily become unhappy.  There are a lot of things I am living without as we speak.  I have lots and lots of practice.

But if my pretty bedroom all goes away, what would happen next with me is that I would find a pretty rock and say, "Wow!" and laugh and put it in my pocket to keep (until I lost it again).  Things--small bits--are what make me happy.

Why?  Because I am a child.  Or, she is somewhere in there anyway.  A child doesn't need to wrestle with weighty things like salvation and the other crazy quests we set ourselves on (wealth, politics, zen wisdom).  She just opens her birthday and Christmas presents and claps and laughs and then plays with them for hours while the rest of the world is blotted out.

These days there is a small, additional rhythm to my life.  My son has soccer practice for an hour.  I had to find something to do because it's too far to make sense to drive back home, just to return to pick him up.

So I have chosen to head to the nearby store.  I buy an ice cream cone.  I sit at a table.  I flip through my Facebook feed.  It's also the day the new Humans of New York episode comes out.  So I watch that amazing show.   I get to the end of the cone and the episode--and I smile in complete happiness and sense of wellbeing.

I didn't get anything done.  I didn't make progress on any of my goals.  The ice cream cone is devoid of nutrition (but full of giggles).  I spent time on somewhat meaningless reading and watching.

And I'm really happy.
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<![CDATA[The Peace Of Your Body]]>Fri, 08 Sep 2017 14:35:48 GMThttp://howtomovetheuniverse.com/the-blog/the-peace-of-your-bodyA few months ago, as I renewed my healing journey and prepared and began living the specific form that would take, I thought about my own body as a country; as a land where I was living.  And what is that land like for me?  Is my body a land of peace?

The answer for me is still "no".  I am a person who desires peace for the whole world, and yet I am still withholding and/or not completely stepping into peace as a gift and reality for my body.

My healing journey has been very long with several stages. 

First, I had to become aware that something was really wrong with me. 

Then, I had to struggle for a long time and gain coping skills and acceptance, without experiencing any real relief from the pain and crazy, but simply my determination to live

Then, when I found the key of relief and cure, and turned it, I had to learn to be willing to be a new person and not hide in the familiar pain.  I had to cover new ground with courage, and keep choosing and allowing the cure.  I became stronger and freer, but it also gave me a new layer of challenges that I hadn't been able to get to yet because I had had the massive challenges as the only horizon. 

Then, there came the day that I deliberately chose to love myself and to love my body and thank myself and my body.  Again, new ground to cover; another level of relief.

So I'm no longer suffering.  I haven't been since 2013.  Any day of the life I am leading now is sooo much better than most of my past.  I have my handy 0-100 scale, and whereas most of my life I was living at a negative -782 or summat, nowadays, I'm now at 5 to 25 (the 10-25 being only a year or two old).  So 25 feels like glory to me, even though I know, or hope, there is 26-100 or plus+999 ahead of me yet.

But I'll be honest.  I still struggle with consistency (or is that a pipe dream? not sure).  Old stuff still comes up far too often--sometimes I 'win' and sometimes it 'wins'.  I still sometimes feel like I'll never 'get there'.  And I'm not sure what 'there' is any more.  I was so clear when I was young!  But I'm not her anymore.  I am good at being here--the present moment--and embracing whatever comes.  (Thank you, Jenn.)

So as I said, in the last few weeks, I have been noticing my body even more and that it still needs more peace.  It needs to enter its rest, and I need to do what I can to provide that. 

I need to release it from having to digest poison (for me, that's mostly sugar) and to be willing to deliver massive nutrition.  I need to release it from working beyond reasonable points and instead sleeping or relaxing.  I need to release it from old energy and memories so that it doesn't have to carry those, and instead can be its real self instead of a (pain and chain) modified body. I need to create a peaceful and beautiful environment for my body. I need to allow it to be free to play and move.  I need to express and comfort its emotions.  And I need to continue this healing, not with a sense of frantic anxiety or condemnation, but with a sense of quiet adventure and companionship.  Me and my body.

At this point in my healing, I don't really need more knowledge.  I'm still open to more knowledge, of course, but I do have enough that will continue to carry me a long way.

What I am understanding is the bottom line of this stage of healing is more permissionMore YES.  Also some more 'no's where they need to be to protect my body and its integrity so it feels safe.  More permission to lay hold upon the knowledge I do have and use it to bless my body so that it can experience daily peace.

The whole world deserves peace.  But a world of peace is made up of individuals at peace.  And that means peace for and in our bodies.  Our body is the set of energy that is ours and that we can make choices regarding.  We don't have choice beyond that, normally.  And do we choose to have an energy of peace?  A reality of peace for ourselves?  We are willing to bless the unfortunate in far places, but can we bless the one unfortunate that is actually at hand--the sad, mad, hurt, scared, confused, childlike body--ourselves?

YES.
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<![CDATA[Pattern Interrupts]]>Fri, 01 Sep 2017 13:21:52 GMThttp://howtomovetheuniverse.com/the-blog/pattern-interruptsYour body functions by the use of patterns.  Your body outputs your daily experience from familiar patterns that it has learned when a child (almost effortlessly--the time of greatest learning), and any other pattern you have installed with some effort since then.

This is a good thing.  It conserves energy.  It makes things easy.

It's a good thing when the easy patterns and outputs are what we desire.  But when the easy patterns are those things that are otherwise causing us problems, pain, and taking us where we don't want to be--oops!

To discuss complete re-patterning would be a very long post.  And, indeed, the entire healing pathway that I deliver through How To Move the Universe may be considered an extensive project of re-patterning.

But I'd like to give one element of re-patterning that you can use to help yourself, and that is called PATTERN INTERRUPT.

In 'pattern interrupt' the object is not necessarily to replace an old pattern with the new one you want.  In fact, the old pattern will keep the hurdle up and make setting up the new pattern a challenge unless you apply some specific understanding of energy (such as the pattern interrupt).

Rather, the object is to interrupt the old pattern with just about anything else.  The crazier, the better.  Having nothing to do with either the old pattern or the new pattern, the better.  The briefer, more intense, the better.  Something that just makes your system go, "WHA?!"

One of my favorite pattern interrupts is a phrase.  "Purple celery."

Wha?!

Exactly.

Starting to tell an old story (lie) loop to myself in my mind?  I yell out, "Purple celery!"  About to indulge in some temper?  "Purple celery!"  About to grab some low energy so-called food from the fridge?  Tap dance a little jig and sing- song, "Purple celery, purple celery!"

A pattern interrupt doesn't have to be a set of words (although I suggest you do have a handy pattern interrupt phrase for use whenever).  It can be an action.

Let's say that you want more movement in your life and have decided that a daily walk is just the thing.  However, it hasn't materialized.  You keep making the old choices about time and body use in your day and the walk hasn't been inserted yet into the day's pattern.  You are getting upset with yourself.   How hard can it be?

Well, instead of insisting on the walk at this point (and failing), rather . . . dooooo . . . the hokey pokey!  Do the macarena!  Do anything but the old thing!  Shake the energy up.  Laugh about it.

If you have been a homebody, but you want to see the world and not sure how you can make the leap--start by going to a park.  Anything to get yourself out of the house and show your system that doing something other than the old pattern is still safe and survivable and fun.

Want to write a novel?  Start by writing haikus.  Sitting down to write and nothing is coming?  Do a drum number with some pencils, and then type the word "The" on the screen.  Anything that does not allow the old pattern to persist.

You may not directly get to your new pattern this way (but you might!).  Likely there will need to be some other steps to completely install the new pattern.  But you don't have to be hostage to the old pattern in the mean time.  Interrupt it!
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<![CDATA[The Healing Cycle]]>Fri, 18 Aug 2017 16:19:38 GMThttp://howtomovetheuniverse.com/the-blog/the-healing-cycleThere is a general progression of how healing may take place over a lifetime.  This may be helpful to know so that if you recognize the part of the healing cycle you are in, you will realize that you really are 'on your way' even if it doesn't feel like it.  Or, alternatively, you may be able to ask yourself--how can I enter the next stage and experience greater healing?

Childhood.  During childhood, and often adolescence as well, we don't have a lot of control over the shape our life takes.  We entered the world, the world of our parents, just the way it is in our vicinity.  We are trained and edited into the local and family paradigm.  We are fed in a certain way.  We are allowed certain things and forbidden others.  We are damaged in certain ways.   We are loved in certain ways.  We are just learning and absorbing the corner of the world we entered and creating memories, beliefs, dramas.  Our energy state--our body--is being shaped; and thus the experience that is possible from that body.

Toxic and Unaware.  When we leave childhood, some of us are quite damaged and thus have dominant pain and shame (and etc) experience.  We are unhealed and broken-hearted, broken-bodied.  Basically, one way to describe this part of life is "childhood on replay ad nauseum", except now we are engaging out in the larger world and we aren't children (just stuck there energetically).  We are still using the paradigm, rules, dramas, beliefs, energy we learned in childhood--but we are with a wider number of people who may not share these.  We encounter more and different paradigm and expectation and energy--much that we may not be prepared to deal with.  Other humans we are engaging with may be more damaged than we are, or they may be 'on their way'. We get hurt more, and we hurt others with our toxicity. Even if you had a lot of blessings in childhood, and feel that you are mature and energetically healthy, this may be even a more difficult position to be in because you are 'sure' that you have nothing to heal.  You can't as easily see opportunities that may have come down from your family and genetic line that need to heal through you.

Breakdown.  Most of us have to pass through this, although I wouldn't say it's ultimately necessary if you learn to be proactive in your healing.  The breakdown may be tinyish and relate to a specific area of your life.  Or it may be overarching to your entire life and body.  And anything in between.  Some people live in a constant state of breakdown.  The experience of breakdown is that your life isn't functional the way it is, you and your body aren't functional, the level of pain and overwhelm isn't functional, everything you thought you knew and should be doing--all of it just loops back to more pain and mess, over and over again.  In a breakdown, you get to a very painful point where a lightbulb goes off inside of you somewhere: there has to be something more than this! I can't and won't go on like this.  Some people in breakdown make the opposite, tragic conclusion: there IS nothing more than this.  But I'm telling you, breakdown is a very important part of your healing, and is your gate to healing, and, yes, there is healing and peace ahead for you if you keep going through the cycle.  Breakdown is the point where the pain of your current state exceeds your discomfort of making new choices.

Awareness.  Awareness can be described in many ways and is an ongoing attitude.  Even the most healed of us learn to slow down and listen to our body so we know what else we can do to bless ourselves and others.  To always be seeking blessings.  And breakdown is definitely a moment of awareness.  But I want to point to a very essential awareness that most people on this planet never arrive at; and which is why they never can really heal but remain stuck.  It is the awareness that my pain and my healing is my work.  Not everything that hurt and damaged you was your choice; much of it was from childhood.  But, embarrassingly, much of what continues to hurt you is up to you.  Again--embarrassing to admit.  But it has to be done.  As long as it's someone else's job to rescue you, fix you, support you, love you, keep you safe, free you, heal you, comfort you--you will be waiting forever, it's a job that will never get done.  You have to know in your deepest energy that YOU are IT.  You may not have put yourself in the cage (although maybe you did)--but you are the ONLY person who can get yourself out of that cage.  (This doesn't mean you have to do it by yourself, but you do it from and for yourself.)  This is the reality of a benevolent universe--the universe that places the key in YOUR hand.  No one else can keep you in your pain if you want out and are willing for the journey.  You are in charge of that.  So blame and giving away authority is never the healing pathway.  Taking more and more responsibility for your life IS.

Coping.  When you first begin a healing journey, the pain (etc) is still there.  But you learn to relate to it differently.  You begin to practice your healing muscles and slowly gain strength.  You learn and practice a toolkit of new choices: new beliefs and new responses to the same things that are still happening in your life.  You learn to function differently with new strategies and honor yourself, even if you still are in the middle of your problems and pain.  Again, no one is handing you anything, removing anything, waving a magic wand.  It's hard.  But you choose to do it anyway, because you've decided on your own worth and of those you love; and because you know it has to come from you.

Grieving.  As you learn to cope, you start to trust yourself a little more.  You start to get an inkling of how amazing you are and how many gifts there are in the world and universe.  You start to feel a little safer.  As you feel safer, your body is going to start releasing energy.  This may be a crazier passage than even the breakdown.  Because you will feel old feelings, suffer old memories, be triggered even stronger into old dramas.  You'll think: healing doesn't work!  And you might want to crawl back into your old shells.  Try to remember that your body (energy state) is reshaping and it has to start by getting rid of the old, putrid stuff.  You are experiencing it, yes, but it's on its way out.  My suggestion for this passage is to continue with your coping toolkit and to grieve.  Cry, scream, hit pillows.  Allow your feelings but without moving to toxic responses--be diligent in choosing your new responses.  Because we stuffed all this energy away within our body so we wouldn't have to FEEL, so now it's time to do that FEELING.  Allow the feelings and memories and thoughts to be without thinking something is going wrong.  Mourn.  Rest. Get support from a safe person.

New Creature.  I'm not going to lie.  The coping and grieving stages of healing may take years.  They did for me, anyway.  But I promise you if you keep going, some little rays of peace and laughter will start to break through in moments.  Allow those.  And pretty soon the drops turn into a small stream then a river.  And then one morning, you wake up and think, "Wow.  Hey, I'm all right!  I'm so blessed!  Can't wait for this day!"  It will be a day and a life without suffering and with no or greatly eased pain.  Your body (energy) is completely new, and thus your experience is completely new.  It's more second nature now instead having to consciously work at it grueling every day.

So if you see yourself in any of these parts of the healing cycle--don't stop!  Keep going! Learn what you need to learn for the current and next part of the cycle, and trust yourself to do it. LIFE AHEAD!
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<![CDATA[You Know You ARe Healed When . . .]]>Fri, 04 Aug 2017 13:59:25 GMThttp://howtomovetheuniverse.com/the-blog/you-know-you-are-healed-whenHow do you know you are healed?

Does being healed mean everything is fixed and perfect?

Does being healed mean you got everything you wanted?

Does being healed mean that you are completely cured and no scars remain?

Does being healed mean that all your burdens are lifted and that you have no problems?

The answers to the above questions are: ha ha ha ha ha; um, no; not usually; and Really? This is planet Earth we're talking about.

So what is healing and how do you know you have arrived?

In one sense, healing is ongoing.  It's the journey of a lifetime.

But the good news is, is that there is a turning point available where you just aren't scared, hurt, and empty anymore.  That everything is all right, it always has been, and it always will be.  Even if you haven't got it all figured out yet (and maybe never will, quite).

So what is that moment of healing?  What is it called, what does it feel like, where is the place you can come to?

Trust.  Living from the state of Trust IS the state of complete healing.

Your body and being hum with relaxation, peace, and integrity.  You have come to yourself, and are your own companion.  You love the land of yourself and can reside there forever without wanting for more.  The world isn't scary anymore.  You know you are Loved, Upheld, and Safe.  You can let your guard down because there is no Monster anymore.

I hope you can see that this Trust and Peace is possible even in the presence of pain and burden.  Trust like this is to be learned, but it's possible.  It's a way of seeing and being in the world and in yourself so that everything that comes your way is medicine.  Love what arises.

Safety and trust are inseparable.  When all you know is that you are unsafe--with yourself, with other people, in this big bad universe--then you have to be afraid, right?  It makes sense.  You have to be ready at all times to freeze, fight, or flee.

But when you know that nothing can hurt you--then you are free.  You can be a child, laughing, playing, crying, screaming, falling down and skinning your knee, and getting right back up to play some more.

By now you are probably saying, this isn't reality, Jenn.  No one can do that.

Except that many people have.  I have.  And you're invited, too.

= = =

One thing that is necessary to enjoy this Trust is that you have to replace the locus of your safety.

What I mean is, is that most people have the locus of safety outside themselves.  They are waiting for the world out there to fall into some shape that has no more sharp things.  And til it does, they stay indoors, trembling and hiding, metaphorically speaking (and sometimes not so metaphorically).  They keep telling the story of how weak they are, of how messed up they are.  They tried fighting that dragon and they concede the loss.  (Been.  there.)

One of my favorite movies is the 1980s cult classic Labyrinth.  (Spoiler alert!)  Sarah suffers and braves through a hazardous maze prepared by The Goblin King, Jareth.  Her purpose is to rescue her baby brother who has been kidnapped by Jareth.  After coming through many difficult adventures, she has the chance to confront The Goblin King himself.  She is angry with him for what he has put her through.  Maddeningly, he insists that he had only done everything for her, as she wanted it.  What?!  Jareth says: "You were scared.  So I was frightening."  According to Jareth, Sarah's fear came first; and he then created a wonderland for that fear.

I invited you to replace the locus of your safety to within you.  Remove it from out thereOut there doesn't get to decide how safe you are.  You do.

So then the journey of healing, of safety, of trust, of peace becomes the journey of you.  Who you are to yourself.

And it doesn't mean that you can fix things and control things.  (Ha ha ha ha ha!)  It doesn't mean that you are a cold thing that never feels.

What it means is that--if you do get hurt, you get to scream.  You get to move into the beauty of mourning and cry your heart out. And then giggle through the tears when the cat does something funny.  You get to stamp your foot.  It's okay.  It's the tapestry of life.  Nothing has gone fundamentally wrong in the universe.  It's called being alive.

It also means that if you'd rather not be hurt that day by that thing, then you know you have a choice.  You have a toolkit that can help you move to the condition you want to be in.  You understand your body and energy and have the ability to work with it.  You are patient and gentle with yourself. 

Maybe there's a flood, but you understand deeply that you will not be drowning today.  You know you have an ark.  The safety is in you.

You are a Trust Ninja.  You've got this.

And if you aren't settled into Trust exactly today, you can go on the journey for it.  It's available for anyone.

See you there.
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<![CDATA[On the Way]]>Fri, 28 Jul 2017 15:08:35 GMThttp://howtomovetheuniverse.com/the-blog/on-the-wayMy grandson is coming.

In just a few weeks he will enter this world.

I call him King Buddha because he is a chub already.  Also because my daughter-in-law said that he doesn't move as much as she expected.  He's rather chill.  (Unlike his father, my son, who never stopped moving in the womb!)  So I imagine that when he enters this world, K.B. will be an observer, absorbing what he witnesses in his new life with deep pool eyes and a steel trap mind.  A wise one. (Let's see!)  A wise Leo.  Love it.  Leo's gift is passion; so if you find one with wisdom also, that's getting a little superhuman.

Speaking of wise.  And things on the way.

Wisdom comes from experience.  Usually tough experience.  Wisdom means you know because you lived it.  No one can tell you different, because you have it firsthand. 

Wisdom is a settling of that pain into the sweet dew of peace and embrace.  The fragrance of wisdom anoints your skin.  Accepting that you got to where you are by the road there was.  It seemed like a broken road, but looking back, you can see you were just 'on your way'.  In your new sight, it seems less broken and more mysterious.  Now you see what was hidden behind THAT door.

Yourself.  As you are now.  Wise.

I was talking on the phone with my mom the other day.  She has a great listening gift; which is good because she got a daughter (me) that has a huge talking gift, ha ha ha.  When I talked with her, I was expressing my continuing concern about the lengthy transitional period I am in.

I'm not in a bad place.  In fact, most of the time I am deeply grateful.  I feel that I escaped, in the most literal sense, a hellish past--a hellish ME.  And any day that isn't THAT--is a good day.

But no matter how well I practice being in the here and now (I've actually become excellent at this!), there is always a part of me that is in a hurry for what is still coming.  I'm not who I used to be, but I'm not yet who I'm going to be. 

I feel not quite strong enough for it.  And I know that's why I have the gift of transition--to have the time and practice of becoming strong.  If I keep going, hour by hour living the basic healing practices that I know, and being open to new gifts--then I know I'll wake up on a morning and almost without warning, the butterfly me will have emerged.  Wise and laughing, and with a little bit of pleasant amnesia about the road I took to get there.

But right now, I'm in the chrysalis.

But I do want to be on this day too.  The day where I can hear the morning birds as I write this.  The day where there is water in the air.  (I live in Arizona, so I can always tell when there is a little water in the usually desert dry air.)  The day where my sons and I are looking forward to school in a few weeks.  The day where I am going to clean out a cupboard in my kitchen.  The day where I am going to take my son out to practice his driving.  The day where I am going to struggle with how much sugar I'm going to eat today (thankfully relieved when I say no, excited and childlike when I say yes; ha ha ha; it's all good).

The day where I am waiting for King Buddha to hit the world to tell his Grammy what he already knows.
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